When you are the only one in the room: how firms can better support women in male-dominated environments

In my coaching conversations, this comes up time and again. Talented, experienced women speak not only of the pressures they face, but of a quieter, often more damaging experience: loneliness.

This theme came up strongly at The Tall Wall’s recent summer lunch, where many of us – all executive coaches working with women in professional services – reflected on what we are hearing across our client base. Loneliness at work surfaced as a common thread: a sense of disconnection, of being present but not fully seen, of carrying responsibilities without always feeling supported. For women in male-dominated environments, this experience is often amplified.

This isn’t the kind of loneliness that comes from being physically alone – but the kind that stems from not feeling fully recognised. From sensing that your presence is accepted but not fully integrated. From being there, but still peripheral.

This is not just about diversity. It’s about belonging.

Feeling excluded does not always come from overt discrimination. Often, it’s more subtle – being left out of informal conversations, not being invited to networking events that happen after hours, or noticing that your leadership style doesn’t quite fit the dominant mould.

Over time, these moments can chip away at confidence and connection. They can make even the most accomplished professionals question whether they really belong – or whether the effort to stay is worth the cost.

Recently, I listened to a conversation between Esther Perel, renowned psychotherapist and expert on modern relationships, and Gianpiero Petriglieri, professor of organisational behaviour at INSEAD, where they explored the growing epidemic of loneliness at work. Perel spoke of how "The quality of our relationships determines the quality of our lives" – and that applies just as much in professional spaces as in personal ones. Her work underscores a powerful truth: we come to work not just to perform tasks, but to find connection, meaning, and recognition. When that is absent, loneliness takes root – no matter how busy or accomplished we are.

Below are some thoughts on how organisations can create an environment where women feel they truly belong.

1. Acknowledge what is not working

The first step is naming the experience. For many women, exclusion is not loud or aggressive – it is subtle and cumulative. Firms need to be curious, not defensive or reactive.

Are women being left out of informal networks? Are they asked to conform to a style of leadership that doesn’t reflect who they are?

Awareness must come before change.

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2. Move from representation to integration

Having women on the team is a start. But feeling part of the real conversation – the one behind the scenes – is what truly matters. That means:

• Giving women equal access to stretch assignments, without assuming they won’t be up for them.
• Inviting them into informal networks and decision-making spaces, without guessing they wouldn’t want to take part.
• Listening to their perspectives without filtering them through male norms.

True inclusion is about influence, not just attendance.

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3. Encourage male leaders to be part of the change

Creating inclusive cultures is a leadership imperative. Male leaders have a powerful role to play – by calling out bias, making space, and choosing sponsorship over silence.

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4. Create spaces for real connection

Women often say they long for spaces where they can speak openly, ask tough questions, and reconnect with their purpose – without having to perform.

That’s where coaching, reflection, and peer connection can be transformational. Through these spaces, women can:

• Navigate moments of doubt or disconnection.
• Strengthen their voice and presence.
• Reclaim their own definition of success.

Connection to self is just as important as connection to others.

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5. Create a culture that fosters a sense of belonging

Begin to design rituals and structures that include everyone:

• Rotate leadership on high-profile projects.

• Host inclusive social events.

• Make informal time accessible to parents and carers.

• Encourage multiple leadership styles to flourish.

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Creating a sense of belonging isn’t about adding more women to the table. It’s about making sure that table doesn’t require them to leave part of themselves at the door. It’s about shifting from “fitting in” to being included as you are.

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The work of supporting women to feel more included, connected, and less alone in male-dominated environments does not have a quick fix – it is a long-term, often uncomfortable process of noticing, unlearning, and rebuilding.

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This process also touches something fundamentally human. Because at the heart of it is a simple truth: we all want to feel that we belong. That our voice matters. That we can bring our whole selves to work – and be valued for it.

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For senior women in professional services, that is still too often the exception – it’s time we made it the norm.

We are experts in coaching in professional services firms and understand the particular challenges faced by diverse talent. If you’d like to find out more about how we work with individuals, teams and organisations, please get in touch at hello@thetallwall.com.